Courtney On: Being An Attorney

A truly unfortunate side effect of going to law school.

Risa on: The anti-carb phenomenon.

Buzz kill and a half. Bread isn't fried. It doesn't have chocolate in it (unfortunately). So how is it possibly THAT bad for me? If carb eating is wrong, I don't want to be right...so pass your uneaten pizza crusts over here, Skinny McGee.

Risa on: High-heeled shoes.

Clearly the inspiration to whoever invented the foot massage.

Risa on: Forgetting your wallet but not realizing until you're already at the checkout counter unloading your eggs and brownie mix.

I am a pain in my own ass.

Risa on: The first day of cool weather.

Makes for rockin', frizz-free hair. Ideal for skipping. Easy on the Milky Way you left in your glove compartment.

Risa on: Waiters who shouldn't be waiters.

I fully intended on leaving a very handsome tip to compensate for my somewhat meager order. Then you got all hostile on me for not splurging on kobe beef sliders and raspberry mojitos. So maybe my pal and I housed the complimentary bread basket and then split a sandwich - does that mean we don't deserve extra napkins and water refills? Sandwich eaters are people, too. So instead of 25 percent...you get 15 and a snooty blog post. 

Risa on: Bottled water.

Water is free, my friends. I don't spend my hard-earned skrilla on it. But to those of you who do: I'm running a half-price sale on air you won't want to miss.